Don’t you hate it when you go to clean up a quick mess, but then find and even bigger mess that needs to be cleaned? It happened to me tonight, when I stepped on a little sticky puddle of dried juice (I hope) by the refrigerator. As I bent down to clean that up, I noticed it must have splattered on the refrigerator door, which lead me up to the bottom shelf of condiments and some very overlooked corners that needed a good scrubbing.
Something similar happened today as I was assessing some behavior issues we’ve been having. Our oldest daughter has been having a hard time handling some emotions. It’s been frustrating in the small things, such as if she suddenly realizes she would like ice in her water, she doesn’t just say, “Hey, can I please have some ice in my water?” She immediately goes into full-blown tantrum mode, crying so hard that it takes me 10 minutes to understand that her room-temperature drink is no longer acceptable.
I have gotten really tired of disciplining her over this, and, I’m ashamed to say, haven’t been great about masking the frustration. Today, I finally decided that I really needed to do something else about it. I ordered a book, read a blog, reviewed some notes…
Then I finally went to the Word. (Yes, I realized I should have done that first. Just being honest here.)
Have you ever heard the saying, “Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror?” That’s what happened to me. I was trying to figure out ways to “fix” my child when I found the bigger mess – me.
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32
That ton of bricks fell on me. In my frustration over this child not being able to express her feelings, I had been exasperating her. That lead to me feeling the things in Ephesians chapter 4, verse 31 – and not remembering what verse 32 tells me to do.
So, today I started cleaning the bigger mess. There’s a lot of work to do.