This morning, I did not feel very well when I woke up. Even so, I went about the morning routine as usual, right up to gently waking Rafa up when the clock hit 7 a.m.

But before he even fully opened his eyes, he asked, “What’s wrong?” I said, “Nothing!” I didn’t feel a need to let him know about my sore throat or achy joints as the first thing he would hear today.

He opened his eyes the rest of the way and said, “No really, what’s wrong?” And again, I said, “Nothing! It’s time to get up.”

We went through the rest of our morning routine and I told him about my aches and pains. Our conversation then went something like this.
He said, “I knew something was wrong.”
I asked, “How did you know?”
He said, “I knew because I know you.”
I asked, “How can you know? I did everything the same this morning!”
He said, “I know you and there are ways I can tell.”
I asked, “Tell me just one of the ways.” (I only asked for one because I didn’t know if I could handle more!)
He said, “The speed of your voice changes when you aren’t feeling well. I knew something was wrong because you were talking slower this morning.”

I feel so blessed to have a man who loves me so much that he studies me, knows me better than I know myself, cares about me more than I deserve.

Every time I hear about another celebrity divorce, I get sad. I didn’t know Sandra and Jesse or Tiger and Elin personally, but I still feel sad when I hear about their marital problems. I pray for them whenever I hear their names on the radio or while I’m flipping channels.

Our house is so quiet right now.

Our six Easter visitors just left. It’s really quiet without Rafa’s brother, sister-in-law, three nieces and nephew who came down from Winnipeg to celebrate Resurrection Day with us. We had a fantastic weekend shopping, eating, talking, eating, going to church, eating, going to Iowa and eating!

My highlight was watching Rafa prepare this 21 pound beauty.

We named him Peter because we doubted three times that we would be able to cook him without ruining him, but in the end, we knew the Lord would come through for us.

Rafa made an awesome butter and herb paste that he massaged under the skin and into the turkey. He did awesome preparing it.

Almost six hours later, it was time to eat!

Yes, it tasted as good as it looked! I am so proud of our first turkey together. We added croissants, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and gravy and strawberry shortcake to the meal.

I felt like such a grown-up. Hosting a Easter meal, preparing a turkey, and getting everything on the table to eat together felt good. I’m so happy we could celebrate Christ’s resurrection with our family. I’m also happy they liked it!

I got some encouragement today from Proverbs 12:4 – “A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones.”

I love the imagery. What woman wouldn’t want to be a crown for her husband? Rafa gets a sparkle in his eye when he introduces me to a co-worker. He always smiles as he says, “And this is my wife, Sarah.” Thinking of his face when he does that just makes me smile. I can feel that he is proud to have me as his wife. Being a crown is like being the icing on the cake. A wife can be the jewel reflecting her husband’s character.

So what does it mean to be worthy? And, what does it mean to be disgraceful?

I love the description of worthiness that Paul gives us in Ephesians 4:1-3 when he urges us “to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

So, living a life worthy of the Christian calling includes:

• Humility
• Gentleness
• Patience
• Bearing your husband in love
• Maintaining the unity of the Spirit
• Bearing the bond of peace

These are perfect character attributes to be a worthy wife too. I would argue that being a worthy wife is the natural progression for a Christian wife’s walk with the Lord.

And what does it mean to be disgraceful? Well, I’m sure we can all think of the big ones. Although I dress modestly and make sure my interactions with men are above reproach, there are more subtle ways I can bring the cancer of disgrace to my husband’s bones.

When the ladies at work are cutting their husbands down, am I building mine up? When my husband makes finances decisions for our family, do I grumble or support him cheerfully? Do I maintain our home in a way that makes my husband proud? Do I help my husband share the gospel with others by making Christ attractive to the people in our lives?

I think every woman has a different area that could become a disgrace if she doesn’t give it to the Lord. What’s yours?

I have been so inspired lately by the Daily Faithwalkers messages (http://www.gccweb.org/scripts/gccweb/journal/). Today, Rick Whitney, one of the GCM founders, talked about the legacy of leaders. He says that church leaders don’t just appear – they are the product of the investments of previous generations of leaders.

Rick advises that anyone who wants to be a leader should work to understand what character traits are important to the leaders above them. One of the qualities that is important to the leaders of Rafa and me is commitment. I think that people who are lukewarm with commitment are really tough to lead. Lukewarm people come to church when it is convenient for them. They don’t invest in building the church, spiritually or financially. They expect the church to cater to their needs (when they show up) instead of serving the body sacrificially.

Rafa and I have deliberately surrounded ourselves with other Christians who are committed. Our example for this is in Philippians 3:17: “Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you.”

We submit to our leaders as encouraged in Hebrews 13:7: “Remember those who led you, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the result of their conduct, imitate their faith.”

By following people who live with integrity before God, we are then able to lead others like 1 Peter 5:3 says to “lead (people assigned to your care) by your good example.”

It’s a circle, all part of God’s plan to use men according to His purpose. Are you in the circle? Are you aspiring to leadership, learning from your leaders and living as a good example for people to follow?

I am so proud to be married to a man of God. This doesn’t mean Rafa is perfect, but it does mean that he is committed to learning, serving and leading.

Our church and movement of churches, Great Commission Churches (http://www.gcmweb.org/), is a group lead by servants. We have wonderful examples all around us, and Rafa is like a sponge. He learns from the strengths of the Christians we surround ourselves by.

In the daily e-mail, one of the founders of our church movement gave this quote:

“Men are God’s method. The church is looking for better methods; God is looking for better men. What the church needs today is not more machinery or better, not new organizations or more and novel methods, but men whom the Holy Ghost has come upon. He does not come on machinery but on men, He does not anoint plans, but men—men of prayer” (E.M. Bounds).

Amen! So often, we get distracted by the next shiny thing, the latest technology, the newest insights – but it is so simple. Pray, pray, pray and serve, serve, serve.

Recently, Rafa was asked to be an apprentice in his small group. This means that he is officially learning how to lead a group. I think he was a little nervous at first until he realized that it is God who works in the lives of people. It’s amazing what He can do with a weak vessel that’s committed to Him.

I really enjoy watching kids. It’s something that’s been new to me in the past year or so. I think with my biological clock ticking, the maternal instincts start kicking in and I feel compelled to hold every baby I am near.

I watched 2-year-old Lily a couple of weeks ago and 1-year-old Reuben last Wednesday. This past weekend, a friend to both of us from work needed someone to watch 13-month-old Nico so her and her husband could enjoy a belated Valentine’s date. Rafa and I said yes.

Nico was just a doll, playing with us and drooling on us. He kept us entertained for hours and wouldn’t be still long enough for a picture.

And then came bedtime. He did not want to go into his crib. He cried and cried until he was held – only by Rafa. He wanted nothing to do with me! Rafa was the only one who could stop his tears. So, while Rafa went through bedtime with a crying toddler, I enjoyed some old episodes of Full House and spent quality time with my iPhone.

It’s fun to test drive parenthood with other people’s children. It’s also fun to give them back, go home and have a full night of sleep.

We have a standing date night scheduled on Saturdays. It’s a time we look forward to every week – a time for us to have fun, re-connect outside of our regular lives, and invest time in growing our love.

Today was our first Saturday – since we’ve been married! – that we didn’t have anything scheduled on a Saturday. We had a date planned for tonight, but we ended up having a date day. We slept in this morning. We went to the art store and Target together. As I write this, Rafa is making a delicious-smelling dinner of sauteed scallops in white wine.

A big highlight of date day was going to the fish store, where we bought our first coral for the fish tank! It’s a beautiful zoanthid. It is green, orange and purple, and really pretty! We also got more snails. Our tank is looking great.

I haven’t totaled up the cost of our wedding quite yet. I still have a few receipts from the final week to add into the spreadsheet. I will update you on that soon.

Until then, one of my favorite Web sites www.boundless.org, had a great article about “The $18,000 Wedding Myth.” The author quotes Little Women and I love it:

There’s a scene where Meg, the oldest of four sisters, is about to get married. Her (very proper) Aunt March comes in the house to find Meg helping her intended, John, refasten a garland that had fallen down.
“Upon my word, here’s a state of things!” cried the old lady, taking the seat of honor prepared for her, “You oughtn’t to be seen till the last minute, child!”
“I’m not on show, Aunty, and no one is coming to stare at me, to criticize my dress, or count the cost of my luncheon. I’m too happy to care what anyone says or thinks, and I’m going to have my little wedding just as I like it. John dear, here’s your hammer.”
Mr. Brooke didn’t even say, “Thank you,” but as he stooped for the unromantic tool, he kissed his little bride behind the folding door, with a look that made Aunt March whisk out her pocket handkerchief, with a sudden dew in her sharp old eyes.
Later, Meg’s very wealthy friend observes to her husband:
“That is the prettiest wedding I’ve been to for an age, Ned, and I don’t see why, for there wasn’t a bit of style about it.”

The author goes on to say that the $18,000 wedding “average” really isn’t an average at all, but rather a number perpetuated by the wedding industry to increase consumption. The $18,000 figure comes from TheKnot.com who polled 21,000 couples who opted in to the site, which is full of people who are planning big weddings anyway.

I know from experience. When I signed up for TheKnot.com right after got engaged and entered in our wedding date that was five months away, the site immediately sent me a long list of overdue to-dos — that they could help me complete through the links to services on their site.

I unsubscribed after I got that list.

The Boundless article also points out that in 2007, 40,000 people were married by the New York City clerk’s office — where a ceremony costs just $35.

If women are told repeatedly that weddings cost $18,000, $25,000, $40,000 or more, they will begin to think that’s just how it is. They call this “idealized consumption,” where we look at what the people around us spend money on and then follow suit.

It’s tragic. People go into so much debt for one day and forget to focus on the important thing – the lifetime they will spend together as a married couple. When a couple enters the marriage as these idealized consumers, that will certainly follow them into their financial decisions as a married couple. It will mean they make financial decisions based on what the world is doing and not what is Godly.

I hope our wedding was beautiful for those who attended. I pray they heard the word of God and that it stirred their heart. Our photographer wrote us after the wedding, “Thank you again for having me document your day for you! It was amazing you and Sarah are a true testament to how a covenant of marriage should be held and formed.”

And, as Brett Arends writes recently in a Wall Street Journal article on wedding costs, “People who spend more aren’t more married at the end of it.”