Training a child requires careful control of attitude.
Do you think I am talking about Giana’s attitude? No. I’m talking about mine.
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
Rafael and I spend a lot of time talking about Giana’s training. We discussed it before she was born. We went to conferences and studies the behavior of parents we respect. We read books. We prayed. And now that she is aware enough, we work on various training exercises.
- No touch.
- Come here.
- Blanket time (playing quietly on a blanket for a short amount of time).
When Giana obeys the training we have worked on, I am happy. When she obeys in public or in front of an audience, I swell with pride. However, when we are at the grocery store and she pitches a fit about being told she can’t grab at the glass on the shelves, I am not happy. I am embarrassed by her behavior.
Neither of these responses should be the motivation for why I train her though.
It’s not about me. It’s about her. We train her for her sake – not ours. Training her now sets her up for a way she won’t depart from when she is older. Teaching her not to touch things helps her learn boundaries. It helps her learn to obey someone telling her what to do (me, for now) so that when she is older, it will be able to obey God. Teaching her to “come here” when told forces her to put her own desires aside and submit to authority. By training her on blanket time, we are helping her develop the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, “which is of great worth in God’s sight,” according to 1 Peter 3:4.
For clarification, I don’t it’s necessarily wrong to not want to be embarrassed by your child in public. Actually, it’s probably a fine motivator. But what happens if no one is looking? Or if you are too tired (or too pregnant) to care? How do you find the strength to train through the hard times?
Training my daughter is not about me being proud that she came running to me when I asked her to. It’s about setting her up to be ready to run to God when the day comes that He calls her.