I got some encouragement today from Proverbs 12:4 – “A worthy wife is a crown for her husband, but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones.”

I love the imagery. What woman wouldn’t want to be a crown for her husband? Rafa gets a sparkle in his eye when he introduces me to a co-worker. He always smiles as he says, “And this is my wife, Sarah.” Thinking of his face when he does that just makes me smile. I can feel that he is proud to have me as his wife. Being a crown is like being the icing on the cake. A wife can be the jewel reflecting her husband’s character.

So what does it mean to be worthy? And, what does it mean to be disgraceful?

I love the description of worthiness that Paul gives us in Ephesians 4:1-3 when he urges us “to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

So, living a life worthy of the Christian calling includes:

  • Humility
  • Gentleness
  • Patience
  • Bearing your husband in love
  • Maintaining the unity of the Spirit
  • Bearing the bond of peace

These are perfect character attributes to be a worthy wife too. I would argue that being a worthy wife is the natural progression for a Christian wife’s walk with the Lord.

And what does it mean to be disgraceful? Well, I’m sure we can all think of the big ones. Although I dress modestly and make sure my interactions with men are above reproach, there are more subtle ways I can bring the cancer of disgrace to my husband’s bones.

When the ladies at work are cutting their husbands down, am I building mine up? When my husband makes finances decisions for our family, do I grumble or support him cheerfully? Do I maintain our home in a way that makes my husband proud? Do I help my husband share the gospel with others by making Christ attractive to the people in our lives?

I think every woman has a different area that could become a disgrace if she doesn’t give it to the Lord. What’s yours?